All because of this

Why do we do the things we do
How can we sing when there seems no reason to
How do we smile when there's not much to smile about
When the world is down who are we to stand and shout

It's all because of this
It's all because of this
We've tasted love, tasted hope, tasted holiness

• Because he changed everything for me.
• Because I am his voice.
• Because I miss him with every ounce of my being.
• Because he matters.
• Because he lived.
• Because he died.
• Because there is a promise that I will see him again.
• Because of him, I am moving mountains (even if it is only a spoonful at a time.)
• Because I found my voice.
• Because he inspires such strength.
• Because he weighed 14.6 ounces.
• Because he was 10 5/8 inches long.
• Because his heart beat.
• Because he never took that first breath.
• Because he inspires others.
• Because he has drawn my family so close together.
• Because he is the daily reminder of what life is really about.
• Because of him, I treasure each and every day.
• Because of him, the highlight of this day was giving Carter a bath.
• Because Carter knows they are Aidan's feet.
• Because of all the mothers that I now call friends.
• Because our children are friends in heaven.
• Because I cannot stop the next mother from joining this club.
• Because one day an Incompetent Cervix will not be a death sentence.
• Because one day I will hold another child in my arms.
• Because they will know they have an older brother.
• Because he is amazing.
• Because he has done more in eight months than I could have ever done in my own lifetime.
• Because I see him in his Daddy.
• Because people don't understand.
• Because people keep trying.
• Because he made me a mother.
• Because he changed it all.

Because of him.



 

Raising, Healing, Encouraging

I would give anything to have Aidan here with me.

Since I can't, I cherish the people and the moments that allow me to share him. Today I was recognized as "Aidan's Mom."

AMAZING

Who knew that something so simple could soothe an aching heart?

Life is pretty hectic these days. Between work, marriage, family, friends, March of Dimes, Holy Sews and my newest venture Still Standing, I can't tell you what is going on from one moment to the next. I can however, tell you that in the past week I have shared more of Aidan than I have in the past six months. People have done more than just listen. They have asked. They want to know him. Today, we passed around pictures and fell in love with these sweet babies all over again.

With March of Dimes, we are raising awareness. We are changing the future.

With Holy Sews, we are healing. We are coming together and finding ways to give their lives a purpose.

With Standing Still, I am finding the courage to encourage others. To stand up and be the example so many others have been to me. I am the "survivor."

All three groups are so different. All three are so special. All three are allowing me the opportunity to grieve. Openly, freely, without reservation. I am learning to tread water. I am learning to just go with the waves. I won't drown and eventually I will find my footing again.

I can feel the sand between my toes. I can hear the steady rhythm of the waves. I can taste the salt.

My heart is broken, but beating. 

Answered prayers through an email

Tomorrow is five months. The last two weeks of them have been almost as rough as the first two. Seriously.

It was taking everything I had to get up and go to work. Let alone be a good friend, sister, daughter, wife or mother. I just wanted Aidan back. I wanted to be a mom that is easily recognizable because my child is in my arms. I just want others to know him and be in awe of his milestones.

Today, I found out that even though Aidan isn't in my arms, he is still reaching milestones. Totally different ones than the other babies around me, but still.

I received this while at work today. I was able to share our story further.

I found what life has been beating out of me lately. Aidan's purpose.

I needed a sign this big. This public. This picture.

Answered prayers are not on our time. They are on God's. Thankfully, he is putting this one out for the world to see.