Monday, July 23, 2012

Healing through the fear

This past weekend I faced a big fear. I traveled back to NWA. I sat in the backseat and traveled down I-40. Instead of holding Aidan, I counted stitch by stitch. I focused on that needle and thread and what it will mean to some other mom.

I have had this fear of Fayetteville. I have been so afraid that the first time I would make that drive back to the Hill I would break because I would have to pretend I wasn't remembering and thinking of Aidan the entire time. God provides though. He allowed for a 5k to allow me heal.

NWA Race to Remember
It was a 5k that benefited Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.
It was a perfect reason to make that drive.
It was all about Aidan and his legacy.  

Team Aidan was represented by so many. I cannot explain what it meant to be surrounded by these people. They took the time to come out on a early Saturday morning and share some moments with me. To allow me to share Aidan with them.

Team Aidan.
Mark, Sarah, Addy, Karen, Vos, Germer
Callie and Kaylin hadn't made it yet, but they were there too!

Most of Aidan's team walked with me. My Sarah's ran it. The Sarah above is Tom's sister.
There is this connection between us. Our two boys have just united us. I feel so close to their entire family. It meant so so much to have this moment with Sarah. To see her wearing Aidan's name and running for him.

My Sarah on the bottom is my Vos. Friends since elementary school. Sisters at heart.
She loved Aidan even when he was just an Olive. She has loved me through with such a devotion and determination.

When you make friends in high school, you promise to be friends forever. Thankfully, I made that promise with some of the best friends I could have asked for. A decade later and still they show up when I need them. Nothing short of amazing right there.

This one is extra special. This is Lisa.

She took Aidan's pictures. Pictures that bring me such pride.
Pictures that provide me the proof I need on the hard days that he was here. He is important. He left a mark on the world. Pictures that I carry me with me always. Pictures I am so proud to show off. Wanna see? Please just ask!

This weekend can be summed up in one word. Healing.
I found the peace I have been looking for.
I felt so much grace.
I felt a part of the healing process begin. A feeling that has stuck with me these past few days.

Thursday I will be on the radio sharing Aidan. Tune into 100.3 The Edge if you are local. Should be around 8 that morning! I'm nervous, but ready. Anything and everything for him!


  1. What a beautiful way to honor Aidan!

  2. You are beautiful and the way you honor Aidan . . . everyday . . . in everything you do is beautiful. Your writing is beautiful and I always look forward to opening one of your posts after it has been dropped in my inbox.


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