Friday, March 16, 2012

Brave

Brave:

1: having or showing courage
2: making a fine show
 
 
I know a lot of people who exemplify the first definition of brave. Bravery at its finest. Tom. A soldier who made the ultimate sacrifice. Jackie. A husband and father first. Police officer second, but always in front of his fellow officers. Leslie. A mom facing Leukemia praying for a transplant so she can watch her precious child grow up. Amanda. A mom praying everyday for her sweet Stella to be cured.
 
Someone once called me brave. I certaintly don't belong in the same catagory as those mentioned above. At least, not for the first definition. When I read the second one, I identified. It's what I do. It's why I am so tired at the end of the day. Because I have to summon up every ounce of courage and bravery to face the world.
 
My world of oxymoron's. I am a mom. No one calls me mommy. I have a child I am so proud of. Some people are too afraid to even speak his name.
 
Just about every single person I see on a regular basis is a mom. Certaintly, there are more moms than not. And I love each and every one of them. And I LOVE those babies. I would do anything for anything of them. Still, there are moments I feel completely on the outside. I am left out of mommy conversations and experiences. My heart just aches in these moments. I yearn so deeply to have him here so that I can be included. All I can do is just be brave. Face the pain head on. Smile through. Be as brave as I have ever had to be.
 
Of course, to some, the easiest fix to this is to start trying again. To simply have another baby.
 
I would do anything to have another baby. And one day, when the time is right I will have to. I will have to endure surgery. I will have to be home bound for the majority of the pregnancy. I will have to be the bravest I have ever been.
 
More brave women can be found here.
 
 

2 comments:

  1. Found you through the Gypsy Mama link-up...your precious picture grabbed my attention....

    You ARE brave! I have been blessed reading through this post--and your story. Your bravery is seen through your writing; you share honestly and tenderly from your heart. I pray that the Lord continues to comfort you as only HE can and that He will shower you daily with his grace.


    My prayers are with you,
    ~Rachel
    2 Corinthians 1: 3,4

    ReplyDelete
  2. It is a hard thing to endure the loss of your child. Praying that the will comfort you and strengthen you as He walks with you each day.

    ReplyDelete

 
Design by Small Bird Studios | All Rights Reserved