It's finally here.

In less than 10 minutes another mountain will begin to budge.

Today was very heavy. It was very emotional. It was eight months. It was the first month I thought I was pregnant this time last year. That has brought with it so many emotions.

I spent the evening with one of my oldest/closest friends. We talked, we giggled, we crafted. I was able to talk about Aidan, where I am on this journey and where I want to go.

I am in a place of trying to balance all the aspects of this new normal. I am expected to be past certain points of grief. I'm feeling pressure to be who some need me to be.

That's a lot of weight. That's a lot of expectations for this people pleaser.

And now, I sit on the couch watching the clock obsessively. At 12:01, it is Jenna's third birthday. It is also the birthday for Still Standing Magazine. This amazing opportunity that is going to change the outlook on pregnancy, infant loss and infertility. No longer will it be a hush hush taboo subject.

We will be allowed to grieve and heal together. It's amazing. I simply cannot wait.

So...

Happy Birthday Sweet Jenna. I know you are having a fabulous birthday. Send lots of butterfly kisses to your mommy on this day.

And...it's live. It's up. It's waiting for all of you!

I sincerely hope that you will go and find something that tugs at your heart. Anything that gives us all the courage to stand up straighter and talk just a little louder.

Because we are all Still Standing. And if I'm not standing, its because I am kneeling. Giving thanks for all that Aidan is and all that he is doing.